Nikki Glaser, the 40-year-old stand-up turned in a safe performance as first-time host of the awards show, delivering a mildly funny monologue along with playful skits like a musical number that saw her combining Wicked and Conclave: “You’re gonna be Pope-ular.”
Her opening lines kept things general, making digs at weight-loss drugs and casting couch culture.
“Welcome to the Golden Globes: Ozempic’s biggest night!” she announced. “I’m Nikki Glaser and I’m absolutely thrilled to be your host tonight. I gotta say, this feels like I’ve finally made it. I’m in a room full of producers at the Beverly Hilton Hotel, and this time all of my clothes are on. It was worth it!”
“I’m not here to roast you,” she assured the celebs, claiming that together they’re so powerful that they can do anything “except tell the country who to vote for.”
She then gently teased stars like Eddie Redmayne (for appearing in a show about a hard-to-find hitman on Peacock, a hard-to-find streamer) and Martin Short (for showing up because there are cameras).
She joked about Timothée Chalamet’s wispy moustache (“you have the most gorgeous eyelashes… on your upper lip”) and that even Bob Dylan had agreed that his vocal performance in A Complete Unknown was so accurate it sounded “absolutely horrible.”
The only film Glaser gave a real kicking too wasn’t nominated for a top award. “You know, at Wicked some people complained that the movie was ruined by people singing,” she observed. “Then at Joker 2, some people complained that the movie was ruined by the images on the screen and the sounds that accompanied them. I’m sorry, Joker 2! Where’s their table? Oh… they’re not here.”
Time, or rather ratings, will tell.
